Why I Got a Sunflower Lanyard
The ordeal of travelling through the airport on the way back from Spain in March 2024 resulted in me ordering a sunflower lanyard the next day.
What is the Sunflower Lanyard?
The hidden disabilities sunflower is a discreet sign that the wearer has a hidden disability and may need additional support. It was introduced in 2016 at Gatwick airport to support travelers who needed assistance, later being rolled out globally. The sunflower lanyard is used to indicate a variety of disabilities, such as autism, diabetes, dementia and can be obtained for free from some supermarkets (Tesco, Sainsbury’s) and airports etc.
More information can be found on the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower website.
My Airport Journey
I find travelling stressful, especially public transport. The journey often involves unexpected changes, it is busy and noisy and I am in very close proximity to a lot of people. Airports and flying are the worst, overly stimulating, limited food and drink available, followed by being trapped wedged next to strangers for hours on the plane. Recently I have been doing this solo which adds to my anxiety as I won’t have any support if I am struggling to cope or something goes wrong.
Adding a bike box into the equation leads to a new level of stress! As well as the logistics of lifting an awkwardly shaped box that weighs more than half of me on/off conveyor belts and dragging it around it adds another complicating factor in checking in/ collecting baggage, transfers, packing.
On this particular journey I was on the way back from a 5 weeks stay in Spain with my bike. I was already quite anxious and had spent a lot of the day putting the bike away in the box and general packing. I knew my bike box and suitcase were on the heavy side, I had taken quite a lot for such a long stay, and I was struggling to just pull it along on slight hills! Luckily my sister and nephew were travelling to the same airport and transfer so could help me get it to the airport (my nephew’s initial helpful suggestion that he could sit on the bike box on the walk to the transfer was not taken up!).
Upon arrival I said my goodbyes to my sister and nephew as they had to rush off to get their flight, and made my way to check-in. My suitcase was 2kg too heavy, annoying but not the end of the world, I paid €22 and checked it in. I was then told where to go to hand my bike box over and made my way. After a bit of a wait someone turned up and I struggled to lift my box onto the conveyor belt, after achieving this I was told it was 2kg overweight (30kg weight limit) and I would have to remove items. I started to panic. My hand luggage was already practically full and wasn’t sure where I was going to put everything. I managed to get the box back off the belt and looked for the heaviest things I could remove, managing to stuff a few things in a large shopping tote bag I had (and avoiding any heavy tools that I was worried wouldn’t get through security!). I managed to get back on the belt and luckily had taken just enough out, it now weighed 29.5kg.
Making my way through security I had hours to wait in departures, my sister and nephew’s flight was delayed so luckily I could be with them for a little bit. But then I was on my own looking for the quietest spot I could find to try and zone out and block out as much of the people and noise as possible. I was trying to not think too much about this extra bag I now had, I was hoping that it would be just the equivalent as people who had brought shopping in departures, a tote bag filled with bike shoes and some bike clothes mainly, not a whole suitcase. Making my way to the gate I was already dreading getting on the plane. I always get a window seat so I can try and block people out and go into my own little world but having to be so still and surrounded by people I find really uncomfortable still. I have my own little habits now with trying to distract myself with podcasts, always have a crossword, take my big scarf that I can wrap around myself, which all helps.
When it was time to queue to board I always wait until the queue has died down and tag on the end of it. Standing in the queue I distracted myself on my phone and was approached by airline staff to see my boarding pass, which I showed, and she told me to repack as I could only take one bag on board. I started to try and say that it was from my bike box and I had no way of fitting it in to my rucksack but was cut off and told I would have to pay. That was ok I would just pay I thought. I tried to go back to distracting myself on my phone and working to compose myself to not get too anxious and tearful and it was just a bit of money not the end of the world. When I got to the front of the queue I was asked again to repack, which I said I couldn’t and would have to pay, I was told to stand to the side to let a few people who were now behind me in the queue have their boarding passes scanned and get on board the plane. I did and when I was the last person went over to pay. I was trying so hard to compose myself at this point, I paid the money and they came over to put a label on my rucksack which I thought was a bit unnecessary but OK. They then asked about if anything had batteries in it, such as laptops, which confused me even more, why did it matter? Then they said it was going in the hold and I panicked, I had assumed that it was still going into the cabin with me. I had loads of electronics and valuables in there, it was full of them, all my bike electronics (Garmin, lights etc.), a camera, my laptop, my headphones, passport, purse, money etc etc. But also everything that kept me sane on the flight, my crossword and pen, my scarf, some hard sweets to suck on. I quickly tried to think but sometimes I need a moment in situations like this to process and I was being told to hurry the whole time. I started grabbing stuff to put in the tote bag, feeling tears brimming to the surface, hoping that I had got everything, whilst trying to ignore their constant remarks of having to hurry and I needed to just go now.
I walked towards the plane escorted by a member of staff with tears now rolling down my face. I had started to have a meltdown and the last thing I now wanted was to get in a confined space with other people and have to stay still, quiet and hide my meltdown. I didn’t want to get on. I wanted to run away but I had nowhere to go, my body was fighting me getting on the plane but I did. And to my absolute relief I realised I had no-one next to me on the plane. I had managed to grab my scarf and I quickly got this out, wrapped it around me, turned towards the window and tried to hide my sobs from everyone around me. It was a really uncomfortable flight, every noise, food wrapper rattle, sniff, cough etc went straight through me. I only had my bone conductor headphones now with me and I could hear everything as if it was on loud speaker. I just had to be grateful this was the one journey I had no seat buddies!
I was so relieved when we landed, I got off as quickly as I could. Luckily I had paid extra to get a seat that was right at the front of the plane to avoid being crammed in by too many other people when getting off. I was anxious about everything in my rucksack and walked as fast as possible to collect everything and get out of the airport. I was getting a lift as it was so late in the evening now and was very grateful as my luggage weighed the same as me and getting on a train now was the last thing I wanted.
It took me a while to recover and I didn’t sleep well that night, I was mentally exhausted but my brain couldn’t relax. The next day I ordered a sunflower lanyard. I had known about these but had never really thought about how they could be useful for me. I knew I struggled but only after this event realised how being given a bit of extra space and information could have helped avoid such a distressing journey.
Conclusion
I ended up in a situation where I needed patience and understanding shown to me. The airport staff weren’t to know I struggle so much with changes, that I was already very anxious and struggling with overload and need time and space to process unexpected events as my Autism is invisible. I am hoping that next time I travel wearing the sunflower lanyard will give me some confidence that in another similar situation I will be given a bit of extra time etc. but I am still dreading that next journey!