Cycling and my Autism
I’ve always been a walker. I would spend hours walking since the years I was a teenager. If a journey was possible to do by foot I would. Something about the space it gave me away from everyone, the repititveness of the motion, being outdoors in nature, gave me the escape from life that I needed. At the time I just knew I liked walking and didn’t think anything more of it, but on reflection, many of those things I found in walking I have now found in cycling but with added benefits.
Since my autism diagnosis there are many things that I have begun to notice in myself that are either traits of my Autism or things I have learned help me navigate life. As cycling came into my life about the same time as I was diagnosed I have recently started to think how it has helped me and the benefits it provides beyond that of a neurotypical person.
How cycling benefits me:
Stimming
As had walking before, cycling provides a repetitive motion that seems to sooth me. I can feel myself relaxing and often get caught up in pedaling, any anxieties seeming to ease as my legs continuously rotate.
I also like being alone. I recharge in my own company, and being alone and stimming to my hearts content, with no worries about being judged gives me peace.
Special Interest
Cycling has given me so much happiness and the intense joy I feel when on my bike makes it so addictive. I’m often so engrossed in my riding I find myself singing and have to stop myself from dancing! I must look quite the sight to passing cars!
I don’t do things by half. If I love something I love it. So ever since getting back from my first bikepacking trip in June 2023 I’ve continued to explore what I can do on the bike. Completing my first Ultra in Oct 2023, and in 2024 my plans are even bigger with my first long Ultra in July 2024. My almost obsession with cycling and everything that comes alongside it has given me direction and a purpose I was without before.
I love data. Cycling provides me a lot of data to get absorbed with, which probably isn’t all healthy so I try and resist getting into too many rabbit holes with it! But I love researching and looking at different training theories, how my body is responding, data on and off the bike. How the body responds to exercise and training fascinates me and is something I want to continue to learn about.
Socialising
I don’t find sociallising easy, a lot of the enviornments that people often socialise in are places I find overly stimulating, too busy and noisy. I get overwhelmed by an even moderately sized group, I will overthink potential conversations in my head before meeting people to make sure I have a set of questions and topics I can use, I find eye contact difficult and will be constantly thinking about it.
Meeting people whilst cycling eliminates or dampens some of these problems:
Cycling is my special interest, I like talking about it and find it easier speaking to people also into cycling/fitness.
It’s not expected for you to keep eye contact with someone whilst riding with them!
I am mostly riding in the countryside where it is quiet with less background noise so I am not anxious and distracted by lots of other loud conversations.
When riding together there is no pressure to have a constant stream of conversation. There are natural barriers to this, moving for cars, harder sections where speaking is difficult, scenery or animals to point out, but also a constant stream of words is not expected. Silences are just part of enjoying the surroundings and being on the bike.
In the short time since picking up cycling I have made more new friends than I have my entire adult life before that. Not only that but I don’t have to spend days anxious about meeting up with them! I feel part of a community now. I’ve never felt so included and a sense I belong anywhere but with open arms I have been welcomed by so many people in such a short space of time. Especially with the Ultra cyclists I have met, there is something special about the Ultra world. I read someone describe ultra cyclists as having a tendency to be slight miss fits in society and maybe that’s why I feel so at home.
Confidence and independence
A couple of years ago I would never have believed how independent I could be. I never did anything alone and didn’t want to. Now I navigate plane travel, stays in other countries, Ultra races, bikepacking trips. It can be difficult and I have had struggles with meltdowns, things going wrong, and have had situations when I have questioned whether I am capable. But I can do it. I’ve done it. This has given me more confidence than I’ve ever had before.
Fitness
When I had a breakdown at the age of 26 I didn’t want to leave the house. I ate a lot for comfort. I didn’t sleep. Although I wasn’t very fit previously I started to really put on weight. It made me anxious everyday. I couldn’t look in the mirror or at photos of myself. Exercise was essential in getting the weight off and being able to get some confidence back, and although walking was my main source of weight loss at the time cycling has increased my fitness immensely.
I am on no quest to be super skinny. In fact in the run up to an ultra I am aware that I need to be putting on a few kgs to give me some extra fat reserves. Ultra cycling is all about ultra eating! But I love how much stronger my body is. To see it change, to see in my health data how much fitter I am and in the mirror how much stronger I am gives me confidence and is empowering. I am strong and capable of so much more than I ever thought my body would be able to do.
I was never into sports at school. I was always last on sports day. I didn’t enjoy team sports and wasn’t very good at them. I didn’t have the coordination for racket sports. Although I liked walking I just put myself in the category as a non-sporty person. But although I am far from an athlete, cycling is something I can do. And endurance seems to be what my body and mind are naturally suited to. I will never be a sprinter or time trialist. My body and mind are not suited to that. Put me in a 10-mile race and not only will I not have the legs my mind will freeze, I’ll probably cry and not attempt. But although an hour in a loud social situation would mentally drain me for the rest of the day, being on the bike all day just seems to give me energy in a weird way! I do feel that my Autism also particularly makes me suited to endurance sport, my ability to get hyper-focused and my determination can be positively directed and there is something about endurance that seems to help calm me.
Unmasking
When I am on the bike I am not masking. I am totally me and not having to worry about “fitting in” and appearing neurotypical. It has been a really helpful escape from life and provided an opportunity to slowly work out where the real me is and time to just be myself.
Nature
I’m not a city person, too many people, loud noises. I’ve always been more at home in the countryside and being on the bike provides perfect escape and ability to be surrounded my nature. I will often have eagles swooping above me, deer running through the fields next to me (often directly in front of me too!), and pass all kinds of farm animals grazing. It is easy to feel more grounded when immersed in the countryside, from the green forests to the mountains, each area provides a new experience.
Sunrise is my favourite time of day. I love being out before other people and being on the bike I can experience the start of the day surrounded by only the sound of birds singing and the animals grazing. It gives me energy to do whatever the rest of the day entails.
Mental Health
Exercise being good for mental health. I’m not telling anyone anything new here! One of the reasons why I think everyone should have some form of exercise that they love and can do regularly. It is profound how much difference it makes. When I am unable to exercise due to illness or injury the difference to my mood is stark. Maybe due to the benefits cycling has to me beyond the normal and my obsession with it hits me harder but I know from most of my fitness friends exercise is their therapy. For me I had been dosed up on strong antidepressants for all my adult life, until soon after my Autism diagnosis. I am not a medical expert, and I understand for a lot of people with Depression these medicines are an essential part of life, but for me they never really worked. On increasingly stronger doses I still had the same “issues”. It’s only after my diagnosis, understanding my Autism, and through exercise have I been able to come off all of these.
Conclusion
Cycling provides me with an outlet to my anxieties, gives me intense joy and ability to socialise in a “safe” environment. It has done more for me than any drug or therapy before. For Autistic people who are able to cycle I think it offers more than fitness and can be therapy as well as access to a community and support.